Teenage girls are a huge challenge for parents. If you are one of these parents, you certainly understand how much worry this challenge brings. You meet huge changes in the appearance and behavior of your daughter for sure. These changes can be so drastic sometimes that make you feel that you don’t know anymore who your daughter is or how to deal with her. Certainly, you must understand and accept all good and bad changes in your teenage daughter in order to raise her to become a mature adult. Also, in order to understand your teenage daughter, you should be familiar with the changes that are inherent to all teenage girls.
Teenage girls at the age of 10-13 years
A teenage girl is lost between the desire to be a girl and the desire to be a woman. She wants to be independent, yet she often needs support from others, especially from her parents.
At this age, teenage girls become preoccupied with their shortcomings, primarily physical ones. Therefore they often feel insecure about everything related to themselves. Namely, they consider that acceptance in society depends above all on external features: beauty and attractiveness, the dressing style, … Since acceptance in society becomes very important for them, it doesn’t surprise that girls become so burdened with their physical look.
At this age, there is another change that is most scary for parents. It’s the awakening of a sense of sexuality. Now, girls become aware of sexuality, i.e. male-female relationships. Also, they become more aware of the fact that they can gain more attention from their male peers with only one seductive smile.
All previously stated explains why teenage girls begin to wear shorter skirts and belly shirts. Also, make-up for them is no longer just a toy. It is becoming a means of highlighting in society. Jewelry becomes a means of bonding as well. They start wearing colored bracelets and necklaces. Also, you shouldn’t be surprised even if your teenage daughter wants to have piercings on the nose, navel, or some other parts of their body.
Unlike boys who are very loyal to their buddies, friendships of teenage girls are changing constantly. For example, the same girl who is the best friend to your daughter today may be the one who will hurt her badly tomorrow. But, already the next day, both of them may be in conflict with some third girl which you have never heard of before.
If your daughter is 10 years old, you might think that all these are overstated. You might think that your daughter can not have the features previously mentioned. But, consider how you or some woman from your environment behaved during this period. Also, keep in mind, nowadays’ 13 years are the former 14 years.
Teenage girls at the age of 14-16 years
The teenage age of 14-16 years is the period when negotiations on independence become very serious. As a result, teens face increasing and more frequent conflicts with family members.
Teenage girls begin to try out the different styles of external appearance and behavior to find out who they are. In that finding, they are under the big impact of peers. Actually, their external looking and behavior become a reflection of their peers. Because of that, they need to spend more time with friends.
Nowadays, unfortunately, spending time with friends is all more in the form of chatting on social networks. Therefore, teens like to spend time on the phone chatting on Facebook or other Social Media. With phones in their hands or sitting behind computers, they actually spend time with friends looking for the answer to who they are. Parents need to show an understanding of their need to be with friends. But, parents also need to encourage them to spend less time on phones and more in personal contact with friends. One of the ways is that parents organize events in which their teens will be with friends.
At this age, the sense of sexuality grows more and more in teenage girls. Teenage girls manifest it through their behavior and thoughts. They consider boys as silly and immature, mostly because boys at the same age are like that for real in relation to girls.
Teenage girls can be emotionally unreliable at this age. Unfortunately, they usually are merciless against their mothers. The reason is that the daughters must be separated from their mothers in order to build their own identity in the outside world. Likewise, many fathers of teenage girls 14-16 years old are paralyzed with fear and confusion.
A positive aspect of teenage girls at this age is expressing their dreams and hopes more openly. At this age, girls think a lot about their future, which may not even show up in their behavior. They will talk with their friends about so many serious topics that they can kick their parents to the ground.
At this age, just like boys, teenage girls are still very egocentric and focus on what they want. This can be a source of frustration for parents. Parents should realize that egocentrism is not a permanent personality feature of their children, but only a transient development phase.
Teenage girls at the age of 17-19 years
At this age, teenage girls not only look like adults, but they also behave like adults. At this age, they are overwhelmed by the mind increasingly. From now, the teenage brain becomes more capable to deal with very complicated tasks such as looking at problems from another’s perspective. The ability of abstract thinking which becomes the dominant feature of their cognitive development is responsible for that. Now, they become aware of the other’s rights and feelings.
From this age, teenage girls begin to feel more comfortable in their skin, in what they are, and what they believe. This will bring them new challenges on their road in the world. Some of these challenges are choosing future careers, meeting new friends, and the first serious love relationship,… Parents of teenage daughters at this age are usually very pleased because they finally can talk to them about all these challenges seriously.
Irrational conflicts between teenage girls and their parents begin to be less often. Reasoning and a healthy mind increase in teenage girls. Probably, there still will be some conflicts between them and their parents, but the teenage girls start to give the impression that everything falls into place slowly.
Tips for parents of teenage daughters
If you are the parent of a teenage daughter, I believe that you often don’t know how to deal with her. According to the amazing book “Politically Incorrect Parenting“, the next tips can help you.
- Be support! Just like little girls, teenage girls need to know that they have somebody to support them, that somebody is on their side. The changes which teens experiencing are drastic, so they must know that they can lean on somebody always. Even when they behave cruelly, they need support.
- Give refuge. Teenage girls need somebody who will be able to relax them and with whose they can be what they are, although they may not even know who they are. It’s the best that this one is their parent who loves them more than anyone and knows them better than anyone else.
- Make that she feels that it’s normal to talk to you about problems and to look for help from you. If your daughter has problems, you should try to help her to solve them. Talk to her about her feelings about problems and possible rational solutions.
- Be calm, decisive, and patient!
- Don’t give it to her always! Don’t surrender and give up on solving his problems, which are certainly your problems too. Help her to solve his problems by herself pointing to mistakes and possible solutions.
- Don’t judge the book by the covers. Your daughter may look like an adult, but that doesn’t mean that she already is an adult for real. Actually, she will not have the full ability of an adult until his twenties.
- Help her to understand what she really is. Namely, many teenage girls are preoccupied with their physical appearance. So, explain to your daughter that spiritual features are more important than physical. Also, it is important that they understand how the images of women in the media are controlled and photographed.
- Give her your time. Teenage girls still need parents, although they look like adults and no matter if they have many friends. They must know that they have the support of parents always. You should convince her that she can lead to you by being with her as often as you can. Simply, be involved in her life.
- Be a good model for her. From the earliest day, she will watch how you look at yourself. It is important to show her a healthy attitude toward food and your own body. Your daughter must see that you are satisfied with your and her physical appearance and personality.
- Of course, a model for teenage girls shouldn’t only be mothers, but also dads. Teenage girls will look at fathers as the first experience in the treatment of a man towards women. By behavior towards women, a father should show how a future partner of his daughter should behave toward her.
Do you know some more useful tips for dealing with teenage girls? Please, share with us your opinion, experience, and suggestions. Also, if you have some problem, you can ask us for help or you can take an online course on Positive Parenting Solutions which will help you to solve the problems that teenage parenting brings you.
Latta N. (2020). Politically Incorrect Parenting: Before Your Kids Drive You Crazy, Read This!. ReadHowYouWant.